Thursday, September 07, 2006

Ogun is giving me hell

I just realized I haven't been getting comments in my email and hence haven't posted them. Sorry.

I'm having a lot of technical difficulties in life....Ogun, the Yoruba God of iron and technology is pissed at me. I've made numerous sacrifices to him including a $3000 laptop, three hard drives, a $10,000 Video VTR, a cell phone, and the mother board on my Mac G5....that all comes out to about 17 grand.

His ire is insatiable and nothing seems to appease him. The only thing which can appease him is Oshun, the female deity of water and all things life-giving....and in New Orleans and Carribean, rum is supposed to do the trick. So far nothing has worked.

Any suggestions for a sacrifice to appease him?


Slimbolala said...

Pouring rum on your motherboard is not a recommended solution.

oyster said...

A dozen freshly shucked?

Jason Brad Berry said...

Oysters dipped in Rum served on a motherboard, maybe.

I took the computer into the Apple Store in Tyson's Corner, VA. They said it was so bad they ended up replacing everything...the logic board, the Video Card, and the even the's essentially a new computer.

I think i need a daughter of Oshun to pacify him for me. Otherwise, every electronic devise I touch is gonna collapse.

Anonymous said...

My lovely oldest child helped me spill a big ol glass of sweet tea on my desk, which got in the TiBook. I saved the drive, but saw some nice burn marks near the power outlet.

Well, it's an excuse to buy a new merom-based MacBook next week.

My sacrifices also include a Mackie 1642 mixer, an Alesis RA 100 amplifier, and a cell phone.

Methinks that raw rum is not worthy for Oshun. It must be prepared properly.


Jason Brad Berry said...

Yeah...I have to find Oshun first, then buy her a Mojito. I think the only blogger personality type who qualifies as child of Oshun could be Mermaid but she's most likely of Yemoja.

I need an Oshun...I want to buy you a Mojito!

oh yeah...i have a really sucks right now. It will get better in future, but it sucks right now. I'd hold off for about a year.

Anonymous said...

Day-um! Is this tech support? I'm no Oshun, I'm afraid. Way too old and overworked to worry about such frivolous things as love and beauty, but that Mojito sure sounds tasty. Sorry you guys are suffering so. *sigh*

Mark Folse said...

Since Oshun also protects us from hurricanes (and presumably liquids like the half glass of red wine that temporarily hosed The Evacuation Laptop) I think you ought to work on getting on her good side.

I have some good advice squirreled away somewhere from my good Paganess friend about how to appease Oshun. I seem to recall Orange is her color and seven her number. Leaving a stack of seven oranges somewhere near water might be a good start. Maybe somewhere in Georgetown by the Towpath. You could then stand around with a camera and check out peoples reaction to your offering.

Mark Folse said...

Here ya go. It's five, not seven.

Jason Brad Berry said...


I require your assistance to pacify Ogun. He was my Orisha, but Obatala (Dambala) called me out and I accepted. Ogun hasn't forgiven me for the betrayal...and Papa Legba keeps sending me down his path as much as I've tried to avoid him.

I need help. Can you pacify him for me? I need to restore itutu in my life.

And aside from that....what do you know about AFO?

Jason Brad Berry said...


Actually Oya controls the Tempest and Chaos in general...but she can only invoke Hurricanes with Yemoja/Yemaya's (goddes of the ocean) consent. Oshun can invoke the tempest, but she rarely does...her methods are usually more sensual and manipulative

One very beautiful myth of Yoruba Cosmology is that Ogun, who is constantly at war with himself and his nature, became disillusioned with his duties as the overseer of Iron, tools, and technology. He admonished those duties and hid out in the woods...he was essentially withdrawing from the city and taking off for nature. All the plants began to die on Aye, because there were no plows or tools to harvest the crops. The most powerful Orisha we're sent out to force Ogun back to his role, including Chango...a real badass. But Ogun kicked all their asses and sent them back with their tails tucked between their legs. Oshun asked Oludamare (you could call him God of Gods...but it's not really a heirachy in the western sense of a pantheon) if she could try. All the Orisha scoffed at her as they didn't think she was strong enough to take him on. But she was granted permission. So she waited by a river next to the woods where Ogun was...when he emerged to get water, she started dancing with scarves and such...and essentially entranced him. He mindlessly followed her back into civilization. When he woke up from the trance, he was so embarrased that he just stayed and picked back up his duties.

She's good like that.

Beautiful stuff, huh? Better than anything I ever read in the Old Testament.

George "Loki" Williams said...

I reccomend ritual drinking with your friend Loki who turns 40 this saturday.....

Jason Brad Berry said...

that can be arranged. I'm in D.C. right now but headed down there Thursday or Friday.

Unknown said...

leave offerings for oshun, the only one to wile ogun off his war path and out of the woods, calabasa, pumpkin, sunflower seeds, honey, etc. . . go have a talk with her by a river and console with her . . .her birthday just passed . . .clear your mind by the riverside and let down your guards and your overdependence on technology . . . oshun is the messenger so your needs will be heard . . ashe

Unknown said...

I have no idea if I'm a daughter of Oshun or not because I still need to get my head read. Soon. A lot. I have 470 pounds of glass beads in my living room (and possibly as much as that much again on the way), and a compulsion to paint one of the loft walls a rich shade of orange. And the strangest compulsions to make beaded collar necklaces in red, black & copper; orange, brass, gold, & amber; peacock colors; irridescent green, dark blue, and maroon. And occasionally stuff in black & white with skulls. Oh, and also to start making drawn thread lace table runners, and beaded crochet stuff and... *whimper* And that doesn't even BEGIN to get into the sudden and abrupt change in alcohol preference from scotch to rum and Barenjager. Usually dark spiced rum with a Barenjager chaser.

At least you have more than half a clue. I just feel like I'm... trapped in the eye of a tornado. With a pumpkin. O_O And if anyone has any ideas to make things in my head quieter, I'd love to hear them. Funds are... not conducive to a head reading yet, though, unless someone wants some quality bead work in payment instead. :-/

Good luck with Ogun. I hope you get everything straightened out.

Jason Brad Berry said...

Wendi, methinks you're a daughter of Oya