Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Attention: New Orleans Now Accepting Donations from Foreign Countries

I have officially set up a PayPal donation account to show how easy it is to accept donations from Foreign Countries. Apparently no one in the Bush Administration has used the internets, the Googles, or the Paypals. Here is the donation link:

This is a short wishlist (with estimated pricing) of items which the city is in dire need of:

1. A Working Pump System - estimated cost: $15,000,000

Unfortunately George Bush hired his brother's former Florida company to supply us with our current pumps which weren't designed to do the job. They justified spending 12 million dollars with the company by using the tech. specs. for the company's pumps to write the specs. needed for pumps for our drainage system. Of course the pumps aren't adequate... now we could flood again with a heavy rainfall. Read more here:

Fix the Pumps

Oh My! Government Bid Solicitation for those Defective New Orleans Pumps Used Specs from Catalog of Company that got Bid

2. Wetlands Restoration Funding - estimated cost: $70,000,000,000

The Wetlands which protect Southern Louisiana and New Orleans are in dire need of help. This unique ecosystem, "America's Rainforest", is rapidly disappearing due to shortsighted engineering by the Army Corps. of Engineers and the devastation wrought by Offshore Oil Companies. If you do donate to this cause, we can assure you we will not hire A.C.E. to do the job...we will consult with Dutch engineers and create a multinational coalition to execute this terraforming project as it will be needed by countries around the planet in the coming centuries. Read more here:

People Get Ready

America's Wetland Foundation

3. Alternative Energy Power Grid - estimated cost: $1,000,000,000

This is a perfect project for cutting-edge engineering countries like Germany, Japan, or the U.A.E....sponsor the first city in the U.S. to go completely green! We are currently dying under the weight of artificially jacked up utility bills...if something isn't done we will have a mass exodus of people who are fighting to return to the city. If you really want to help us....help us figure this one out. We have major developers in the city who are already moving in that direction, empower them and we can start a green revolution from New Orleans.

Read more on this blog

4. A Non-Corrupt Working City Government - estimated cost: $4.85

Just buy me a coffee every morning and I will keep working on this. :)

Read more on this blog

And finally...not necessary but I'm putting it on the list anyway:

5. A Mag-Lev Monorail - estimated cost - $800,000,000

We would like to connect the main ecomonic centers of our state to each other with a visionary public transport system. It could also serve as a badly needed evacuation route for the city. Any country who supports this....we will allow your citizens to ride for free across our state in perpetuity.

Read more here: American Zombie: even zombies dream

When donating the millions or billions...please state what you would like the money to be spent on. I will provide your country with receipts and hire a Swiss accounting firm to keep track of spending....Bruno and Tervalon will not be contracted.


LAW70 said...

PRICELESS!!! I would like to donate money to number 4 (A Non-Corrupt Working City Government) please! Do you like your coffee black (dark chocolate), with cream (light brown) - hell, the mayor says that he welcomes them all!!

Anonymous said...

You want to know what it said when I clicked on the link?

"We were unable to decrypt the certificate id."

So go on, take it out of the crypt!

Meanwhile, $70B for the wetlands sounds pretty steep -- until you compare it to Item 1 on Bush's wishlist:

1- Invade and occupy a foreign country whose leader tried to kill my daddy. $87,000,000,000 annually or until I am replaced by someone with more maturity than the average kindergartner playing in a gigantic sandbox.

Do the math. Less than one year's worth of what we spend on Vietnam with Desert Camo could save the wetlands, and with them, all of South Louisiana. Think about it.