Sunday, December 09, 2007

The strangest story winnah

I didn't get a whole lot of strange stories in but I ended up finding one that was unsolicited which I had to choose because it is just so typically New Orleans....it's from da yellow blog:

Friday night, we were doing our regular thing sitting out on the sidewalk in our folding chairs drinking a little, reading a little, bullshitting with the neighbors a little, when a small and half-naked man came walking up out of the neighborhood. He was about 5'6, wearing one sandal, a pair of red shorts, and nothing else. Oh and he was also pretty much covered in blood.

He stopped and looked at us for a second. There was a gash in his forehead as though he had received a blow from a bat or perhaps fallen hard against the pavement. He asked us in broken English for a cigarette. We didn't have any. He smiled and continued running on down Third Street toward Magazine.

Menckles looked at me and asked, "Now if the cops come by and ask..."

I jumped in before she could finish the question "I didn't see a thing."


and this one from Kevin:

The late Larry Linville (Major Burns on M*A*S*H) playing video poker drunkenly while a she-male nuzzled his ear.

and this one from Rick was funny because it has a historical reference to city policy as well:

the other was when i was a young man in the early 80's and they still had horses pulling the wagons. a horse went belly up from the heat near the resturant i worked at. all the news channels came out and filmed it's death thros and the city councel got rid of horses right after that.

I also thought of one other very bizarre moment I had when I lived in da Quatahs. I was working as a P.A on some FOX T.V. pilot and I had to be at the Napoleon House at like 4:30 A.M. I lived on St. Phillip pretty close to it so I ended up getting there a little early and I was sitting on the corner of what was then the Fisheries and Wildlife building. It was in December and there was a really thick fog covering the streets, so you could only see about one block. I heard this haunting voice coming down Chartres from Jackson Square...very eerie female voice which was kind of moaning but reciting something which seemed somewhat coherent. I was watching the edge of the fog waiting for the source of the voice to emerge...it was a woman dressed in a torn up red dress. She was looking straight at the sky and reciting..almost singing...some text which seemed to actually make sense, but I knew it wasn't a song. The closer she got the more I could make out the words and I heard, "Snowball...blah, blah, blah....Napoleon......blah, blah blah,....Comrade....." She was, I think..and I'm not sure, reciting/singing text from Orwell's "Animal Farm". It seemed to me like it was almost verbatim directly from the book...like she had memorized it. She walked right by me never breaking her stare into the sky or her recitation.

Pretty freaky,huh?

3 comments:

rick said...

thanks for the shout out. i wish you and the internets would have been around 20 years ago.

the bullshit was so out in the open back than that even the lowest service industry worker knew dutch's doit.

if only it were so we would be way head of schedule in the purging of the bullshit.

yet here we are and while i wont be alive to see the new new orleans at least im seeing its birth.

please keep on keeping on bone man.

p.s. i love the frank burns lore.

rick said...

p.s. that fog in the morning in the 1/4's when a cold front meets a warm front is the thing of the greatest inspiration.

especially in your youth.


all the sudden you are one with the ghosts of every artists who walked dem streets.

man i miss that youth.

at least i had it.

and thats why i love my town.

jeffrey said...

I also likes the fog.

Keep those "major awards" coming, man.