Friday, March 20, 2009

Why is this news?

Higgins High School teacher arrested after allegedly masturbating in classroom

I don't get it....one more teacher jacking off in a New Orleans school? Since when is that news?

Oh wait...they mean he really was jacking off.

He was booked with obscenity? No shit? I thought he would get charged with some new Homeland Security law like: H.R. fifty-eleventy-three - Jacking off within 1000 feet of a school.

So ethically, I'm trying to qualify this story and here's what I don't get....did the guy purposely expose himself or was he just rubbing one out and got caught? I'm not saying either situation is appropriate, but for me, there's a world of difference between the two.

If he exposed himself on purpose....book him, Danno.

But....now bare with me here....if he was just getting an emergency testosterone call, decided to answer the bone-a-phone and got cold busted....well that's another story.

Had he any other job....even at a restaurant....his face wouldn't be plastered all over the paper tonight.

The kid is 22 years old and he's sitting in a classroom all day with 17, 18 year old girls? That's kind of a fucked up recipe from the get-go, no?

His excuse was hilarious:

When Lehrman was questioned by deputies, he admitted exposing himself, but said he was applying lotion because of a medical condition, according to a news release from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office.

Now what medical condition is that called???? Oh yeah....an erection.

Oh yeah and wait, this is priceless:

Branley said the school system does not have a written policy to notify parents because incidents that require notification happen infrequently.

They don't have a policy which tells them what incidents require parental notification because they never have those incidents.

Well guess what Beth....You do now, baby.

This is funny too:

She also said the system's collective bargaining agreement along with state and federal regulations prevent it from disclosing certain personnel matters.

"I'm sorry mam'...we couldn't tell you that your child's teacher is having one man tug-o-war competitions in her classroom."

What the fuck can they tell them?

4 comments:

bayoustjohndavid said...

Apparently, the students saw him through a window, so he probably did just get a little worked up. However, since he was TFA, it can be inferred that he wasn't an education major. I'm sure that his first teaching methods class would have taught him about the proper use of the faculty men's room.

GENTILLY YARD ART said...

Great post , funny as hell take on an actually fucked up story.

I got to ax ya ? Were you channeling D-BB ?

Scott said...

man, i just gotta wonder what impetus he got that was so intense he couldn't make it to the can to take care of his business.

that medical condition thing is straight genius though. have to remember it, just in case.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Y'know, I coulda lived the rest of my life without imagining what kinda scabs he had on his dick, to "need" to "apply medication" to it.

Sounds like the principal is no fucking brain trust, either. Jeebus.