Sunday, December 31, 2006
Why I turned to Jesus
I just saw on the HuffPo where 25% of people in an AP/AOL poll think the second coming of Jesus Christ will occur in 2007. It's a notion evangelical Christians call "The Rapture".
So supposedly what happens is that all the "saved" evangelical Christians are going to suddenly disappear off the planet and be sucked up to heaven to live in eternal bliss with Jesus. If they're driving a car, the car will suddenly be empty....planes will crash, doctors will disappear in the middle of surgery, etc. Mass panic will ensue on the planet, according to the predictions of the righteous.
The more I thought about it...the more it started to affect me. So I got down on my knees and prayed for the first time since I was twelve.
"Jesus Christ, if you're there...I would ask you to please come in 2007 and conduct this whole rapture thing. There may be a little bit of confusion immediately following the event, but I think it will be totally worth it to get these idiots off the planet. Think of all the things mankind could accomplish without having to deal with their maniacal indignation. So, I don't know if you read the AP/AOL poll, Jesus, but they're ready to go....so I beg you to get 'em out of here."
Does that mean I'm born again?