another existential post
i have a confession to make. In the wake of Dean's southern path, there's a part of my psyche....a part i was ignoring....which was crestfallen.
i have this nascent corner of my brain which not only expects the crazy bitch to claw me but anticipates it.
Maybe it's a manifestation of living in such an ongoing cluster fuck.
Or maybe it's human nature.
i found myself drawn to watch Ichi the Killer for the fourth time last night. If you haven't seen the movie (and I'm not suggesting you do, it's not a film for those with a weak constitution) then you won't understand this simile...
i needed to experience Kakihara.
i kept thinking he had answers for me, but he didn't..... his only answer was Ichi.
i know Ichi....that's not an answer.
i feel a lot like Kakihara in juxtaposition to this city. there are times when i want to murder it for it's weakness and stupidity, but i must admit there's some pleasure in seeing if it will murder me first. It's like playing chicken...sooner or later you're gonna eat metal, but the misses are exhilarating. Ergo Dean.
gotta love creative spacing.
gotta love creati v e spacing.
Sometimes it IS like playing chicken! I totally understand that and feel the same way, but am determined that it not get me first. The stupid optimist in me says it will flinch before I do. I do some days though hope I'm not wrong.
Love the post.
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