One of the great things about being a New Orleanian is that at any given week (especially festival time) there is some kind of party going on or event which has a ton of free food and drink. If you fall on hard times (which I've done quite often), you can carefully plan an entire week of indulgence via house parties, swank soirees in hotel meeting rooms, and even sneaking in venues like the House of Blues for massive corporate feasts thrown by visiting conventioneers. If times get really hard, you can go down to the neighborhood bar, run a tab, eat some pretzels, and "accidentally" forget to pay your bill till you get some cash the following week. One day I may write a manual on this but I suppose my market for it wouldn't have the cash to buy it....it would have to be an Abbie Hoffman effort.
So last night I inadverently discovered a whole new way to fill your gut for free.
For those of you unfamiliar with New Orleans...we have a major termite dilema. Every May for about 3 weeks we are subject to massive Formosa Termite swarms which mystically rise from the mud just as the sun sets (much like a zombie) and then become mesmerized by any and all light sources. If you live in the Quarters you learn the hard way to close your windows and turn out all your lights during this period. The little boogers (and that's exactly what they look and feel like) swarm around until they find a good mixture of wood and water, then their wings fall off and they climb into the walls of our already structurally challenged buildings and commence to devouring whats left of the century old wood which props da Quarters up.
So back to the swarming part. I was tooling around on my scooter last evening, and headed for the CBD just as the sun had set. The moment I crossed under the interstate on Camp I noticed them.....damn....I was going about 40 and I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. I zoomed through the first swarm and was immediately covered in the little fuckers...luckily I was wearing googles so I didn't have to worrry about being blinded. My mouth on the other hand....well...I sucked a couple down. To my surprise, they actually tasted pretty good. I figured what the hell....I accelerated into the next swarm and opened my mouth like a massive baleen whale eating krill. I was already on my way to eat at a new Mexican restaurant in the Marigny, but the little guys made a pretty good appetizer...you just have to make sure you swallow and not inhale. Unfortunately, I don't have a blowhole so that proved challenging.