The Responsible Choice?

Helena Moreno takes down-and-dirty House election from James Perry
If you were out and about yesterday I 'm sure you saw the Moreno campaign signs touting her as "the responsible choice".  Well, I'm sure she's recovering from her victory party last night, so I don't want to hit her over the head while she has a hangover.  But, I believe I will have some questions for her in a couple of weeks.  Until then, congratulations to her on her win.

Has everyone in Jeff Parish Lost their Goddamn Mind?

"No Refusal" for DWI suspects this weekend. 
ht/Yellow Blog

 Once again, I beg Councilman Roberts, or someone with half a brain to please intervene.  You can't force a human being to provide a blood sample.  What the fuck is wrong with you guys?  No...No....No.....a thousand times No.   You are setting yourself up for a lawsuit of epic proportions, do you not get that? 

Look, let me explain it to you.  I gave blood today under my doctor's order in a lab at one of our more prestigious medical facilities.  It didn't go well.  I told the nurse from the beginning that she missed my vein (by a mile) aside from the fact that she didn't swab my arm with alcohol before she stuck me.  She never looked me in the eye or even acknowledged me before she rammed a needle into my tendon and started digging around.  Don't believe me?  Check out this pic:

It's even worse now.

That was from a lab nurse...she totally fucked my arm up to the point where I can't bend it right now.  And Normand want's to force people to get stuck by the parish and give blood samples?  JP....you are going to get sued on so many levels...you will bankrupt your parish.  What the hell is wrong with you guys?  Aside from the risk of physical damage...YOU CAN'T FORCE PEOPLE TO GIVE UP THEIR BLOOD!  Are you on crack?  That's got to be the one of the most gross violations of a human being's constitutional rights I've ever heard of.

Who the fruck are the lawyers and PR folks advising you guys?  Whoever they are, fire their asses immediately.

Seems like every day I wake up, things just keep getting stupider.  Of course maybe I'm just getting stupider or more out of touch....yet I quote Bowie, "This is not America".

Sidney!

 Dudes...think about it.  This guy did the impossible....he cleaned up decades of rotten, alcohol-laden, festering, sin-stricken, smegma, pukey, jizzy.....(hang on I need a breath...from an oxygen tank).....slimy, viral, puss-filled, flesh eating bacterial....ah shit, I'm out of adjectives.....something like this:

Hey...don't click this video...trust me.  It will haunt you for the rest of your life.



.....which was the French Quarter.

This clean up should be a cake walk for SDT.  He has super secret vehicles designed by Lockheed Martin and a mobile VIP trailer to watch the entire excursion on Ultra Hi-Def monitors while sipping highballs with Lenny Kravitz.  I say give Sidney 1 billion bucks then watch him clean this shit up in a couple of months and leave the Gulf smelling lemony clean.

Hell, I bet he can even get the stink off the fish.

WINNER!:  As I was publishing this MojoFearless nailed it.  MJ, you get to attend a weekend drum circle spiritual enema at the Forest Retreat.  But I can't pay for it, sorry dude....or dudette.

Lost as an Easter Egg

Does anyone have any idea where we are? Top Kill? Junk Shot? Tai Bo? I feel like I just fell in a K hole.

Here's where we were last week:

I think this is the next plan:

Look, I think I've figured this whole thing out.  We have an impossible mess to clean up right?  So I asked myself, "Who do I know that can cleap up an impossible mess?"  A light bulb went off...there's only one man alive who can do this job...can you guess who it is?

Oh, about the ads

I'm experimenting with Google ads and Amazon. So far it sucks, but I really like the Amazon ads because the five items I picked out I really dig. And I am reading those three books...I just finished MacMafia...highly recommend it. I'll loan it out if you want to read it.

The Salomon shoes are one of those rare things in life I would actually worship. I bought a pair over a year ago and I swear that I look forward to putting them on every day. I know that's fucked up, but I swear it's true. It's just incredible design and manufacturing. They still look like they did the day I bought them...and they're waterproof...hell to the yeah on these toe skins during a periodic N.O. flash flood.

I don't know what elves work at Salomon, but it's truly shoe magic.

The music choice is the New Pornographers latest release, "Together". I realize music is the most subjective of tastes but I can't take this CD out of permanent rotation on my truck's CD player. Besides Neko Case's enchanting pipes, there is something so bizarre about the NP's rhythms, I just can't stop listening.

The melodies will get stuck in your head to the point where you're cycling them like the tail end of a mushroom trip at 6 am. And by the way for you kids who find yourself in that position, remember...the mirror, phone, and computer are not your friends....trees, water and fire are all good, just remember you can jump in the water but don't jump in the fire..and trees are great for hugging, hell I even made out with one in college.

What I love about the NP's style is that the "beat" of the vocals is not congruent with the instrumental. I can't speak music parlance (so somebody help me out), but if you've listened to this band you know exactly what I'm trying to say. The most notable example of what I'm trying to explain is the song "Valkyrie in the Roller Disco"...the vocals don't match the instrumental but damn it just sounds so cool it's like tetris...you just can't stop playing it.

My favorite song is Crash Years...just because Neko's voice sends me into the aether.

Buy it on Amazon or buy it on iTunes, I don't care...just check it out. But don't rip it illegally, cause that's just bad karma, man...unless you're broke as the ten commandments like moi. Still...I pay for tunes....I don't believe in the lingering Napster phenomenon.

As for the only real and pertinent advertiser on AZ, The Forest Retreat, I got word that sales did indeed increase, so that makes me a happy zombie. And you will be a happy zombie if you visit them. I am trying to plan a trip in June..anyone who want's to tag along let us know.

If anyone finds the Google ads annoying let me know, I will shitcan them. So far I've made $1.85.....Drinks on me, bitches!

Is BP Faking the Moon Landing?

The information out on the intertubes and coming into my blog is off the chart on both ends.

I have a theory...which is most likely as wrong as John Georges at an OPDEC event...but I pose it anyway.

I think the video feed of the "top kill" we're watching and waiting on is propaganda. I think what we're watching is an attempt to stop "a" leak. I fear the situation may be much, much, much worse than what we're being told.

I think the top kill may be an attempt to put a field goal on the score board and get the crowd back in the game, but we are still multiple touchdowns behind.



Read between the lines on this Obama comment, "It should greatly reduce or eliminate the flow of oil on the sea floor, and if it's not successful there are other approaches that MAY be viable." That is a hedged bet if I've ever seen one...and believe me I've seen hedged bets.

What these guys are suggesting goes a long way to explaining the inconsistencies between the empirical evidence we're seeing and what BP is telling us.

Top Kill may become the new metaphor for Red Herring in a couple of weeks. I'm gonna go out on a limb and start using it asap.

Success?

Ok the word is top kill worked...thank Buddha!

I'm I-10 outside of Houston celebrating...blogging and driving...and swerving. So I should stop before I pull a Moreno or Perry.

Crap

I'm hearing the top kill has failed. Can sources please confirm.

Super Secret Mission

Mr. Wolfjam and I are off to Port Fourchon again today to conduct a super secret mission. If we come back alive we will have a kick-ass exclusive on Humid Beings...and I do mean kick-ass.

May Legba guide us down the good path.

Fourchon vid

Here is some footage Humid Being, Steve Wolfram, and I shot in Port Fourchon on Friday as the oil encroached into the delicate marsh behind the beaches and barrier islands. The National Guard was frantically running sand out to the beaches to plug "passes" which would allow the oil to get into the marsh. Turns out they were successful, and managed to plug the passes by the end of the day. I can tell you their work pace was frenetic...there may not have been enough troops on the ground but the ones I saw were possessed men. Heretis:

Horizon File: First Wave of Oil Hits Port Fourchon

We are compiling video for a larger project but we will continually put up the b-roll as we get it.

And for the record, we've both stayed completely sober on these trips, unless you count the celebrex, :)

The Wheels of Justice Grind Slowly

But praise Buddha it looks like they're moving.

Unbeknownst to Zombie, the gret stet has conducted a legislative audit on the city's sketchy-ass contract history with this blog's nemesis, Ciber....and boy it will get yo' panties in a wad.  I haven't had time to go through it all but I offer it here for your reading pleasure:

00016B2F

If you've read this blog from the beginning, you know in the history of my reporting on the IT department, I've continually stated that all roads lead to Ciber. Let's just hope Mr. Letten and crew take this report as a road map to Colorado and pull these bastards back into a Louisiana court.

WWL is ahead of the curve on this story so tune in tonight to get the story from Lucy Bustamante.

Whistling tunes they hide in the dunes by the seaside

I'm greatly concerned that this oil spill is becoming a global chess match:

EPA Officials Weigh Sanctions Against BP’s U.S. Operations

The most serious, sweeping kind of suspension is called "discretionary debarment" and it is applied to an entire company. If this were imposed on BP, it would cancel not only the company's contracts to sell fuel to the military but prohibit BP from leasing or renewing drilling leases on federal land. In the worst cast, it could also lead to the cancellation of BP's existing federal leases, worth billions of dollars.

That can't happen...I wish it would happen but it won't. A blow to BP is a direct blow to the British pound and hence the euro and the very fragile integrity of the European Union. The resulting blow could destabilize global security. This is just posturing....we're beating our chest. Obama and crew will sacrifice the entire state of Louisiana before they hit Great Britain that hard.

What really concerns me is while the dick shaking is amplifying, Yemoja's ruptured aorta may be severing completely.

Such fools.

Games without frontiers, war without fears.

Oil encroaching on Port Fourchon

Yesterday, Steve Wolfram and I traveled to Port Fourchon to shoot some HD footage. Steve was able to go out in an airboat, west of Grand Isle and get shots of the oil spill intruding into the delicate marsh area around Fourchon. Video will be posted soon on Humid Beings....in the meantime here are some stills:





Steve also shot a family of Dolphins in the marsh...should be some good footage.

Douchiest of Douchebags

Chris Meyers is.

Fox Sports' Ed Goren, Chris Myers apologize to New Orleans mayor for 'offensive' comments

Hey, somebody needs to tell our new mayor that confronting these assholes is our (bloggers) job. I appreciate the heavyweight response, but if he keeps that up he's going to steal our thunder.

Also, he needs to learn the quintessential response to asswipes like Meyers....FYYFF. The next time he writes a letter to a Nawlin's hater, I'm hoping to see:

FYYFF,

Mitch

Yeah the timing is just about right

EPA demands BP use less toxic dispersants for Gulf of Mexico oil spill, paper reports

I'm sure Nalco has already cleared their warehouse of Corexit and got paid handsomely. They'll probably announce they discontinued production of the product in the coming weeks now that they've dumped their remaining stock all over the toxic wasteland which has become our Gulf.

I'm really sick today. I'm sick on so many levels. Seeing the oil come in and engulf what's left of our wetlands, knowing it's only going to get worse in orders of magnitude....I'm not sure I felt this hollow during Katrina.

I think it's cognitive disassociation, I just can't afford to let myself think about the loss. I need a drink.

TP confirms the unnamed 3rd party

Costly, time-consuming test of cement linings in Deepwater Horizon rig was omitted, spokesman says

Schlumberger.

Top Kill in Play?

I'm getting word that BP is sending a boat loaded with cement and mud to the Macondo site. I'm not sure if that could be for a top kill shot but l'll try and post as soon as I hear more.

Heads will Roll?

APNewsBreak: Senate Democrats want Justice Department to investigate Gulf Coast oil spill

I'm hearing from multiple sources that a criminal investigation has been ongoing from the moment the accident occurred. "Evidence" was reportedly seized by the Department of the Interior and there may be a third corporation (aside from TransOcean and Halliburton) who can testify to the chain of events which led to the Horizon disaster.

While this report states that legislators are calling for the DOJ to start an investigation, I think the investigation may have already begun. I contacted the FBI last week to find out if they were involved in any investigation, they replied and told me it would not fall under their jurisdiction and that all matters were being handled by the Dept. of the Interior. I haven't been able to make contact with the Dept. of the Interior, but it appears there is indeed a criminal investigation under way.

From what I've been told the primary target is a BP executive who made the decision to pump the mud out of the well before the 2nd plug was in place. He reportedly broke standard safety protocol in doing so.

If this is true, the Exec. should be facing 11 counts of negligent homicide. While I'm not sure, I think that BP executive may be Donald Vidrine, listed in this WSJ article.

In the meantime I'm hearing that there may be a plan in place to sever the riser and install a 2nd BOP. I'm being told this is a very risky maneuver.

I'm really concerned about the long leash BP is operating on. We already know they are using a chemical dispersant which could be harmful to the environment as opposed to using readily available bio-degradable dispersants.

Colby said...

There are many companies, even one in Gulfport, that produce biodegradable dispersants. Gulfport’s Sludge Solutions International has been providing their dispersants for oil-based spills in the Caribbean for years. But BP will not touch them.

Corexit is manufactured by Nalco of Naperville, Illinois, and its board is packed with several retired BP and Exxon executives. With that in mind, there simply isn’t enough money to be made off of biodegradable solvents that actually devour the oil, a source close to Nalco told Bellona Web. Corexit creates sludge, and hence sweetheart trucking deals to haul it off.

Just read that first paragraph

Euro Falls to Lowest Level Since Lehman Collapse as Breakup Concern Grows

The euro fell to its lowest level since the collapse of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. on concern that the 16-nation currency may be headed for disintegration.

Jesus...I think it may be time to pull in Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thorton, Steve Buscemi, and Ben Affleck to go come in and set off a nuke.

SNL skit...fo' true

While the WSJ is reporting the tube was successfully inserted into the pipe, I am getting reports on the ground that it may not have actually been a success. The information is confusing and contradictory as it has been all through this event.

Also check out this WSJ article and remember the name Donald Vidrine. I have a hunch we're going to see him sitting in front of a judge and jury before this is all over.

Fly overs and Dispersant

Macondo site and Chandeleur fly over footage on Humid Beings.

I know a lot of people, like me, have been wondering what exactly the dispersant is which BP is using on the oil spill. I just got this info. on what it might be:

BP has been injecting the Corexit 9500 dispersant into the blowout at
depth. This apparently creates a better mix with the oil as it rises.
We are learning that the chemical was tested by the EPA and proven to
be less effective and more toxic than other available dispersant.
Corexit's manufacturer Nalco is stepping up production to supply more
to BP.
Nalco does share a few board members with BP.

Here is the MSDS data on Corexit 9500:

Corexit_EC9500A_MSDS.539287

And here are some pertinent links as provided by an AZ peep:

http://investing.businessweek.com/research/stocks/people/board.asp?ticker=NLC:US
http://investing.businessweek.com/research/stocks/people/board.asp?ticker=BP:US

http://www.valdezlink.com/evos/others.htm
http://www.epa.gov/oem/content/ncp/products/corex958.htm

Mefferts: It just taint fair

Greg Meffert and wife ask federal judge to change venue for bribery case

While pretrial questioning of potential jurors can sometimes eliminate those with prejudices against defendants, that is not possible in this case because the "taint is too extensive and too subtle," according to the motion.

Well if the taint is interfering I would suggest you change the motion.

Here's how I imagine the conversation in Judge Fallon's chambers:

Randy Smith: "Your honor, the problem here is that my defendant's taint is simply too extensive."

Everyone grimaces.

Judge Fallon: "Well I can see where that could be a problem."

Prosecutor: "Objection your honor, the taint is irrelevant, while noticeable, it serves no purpose."

Judge Fallon: "Overruled. From personal experience I can tell you the taint can be a dividing factor."

Everyone in the room nods in agreement.

Randy Smith: "Your honor, in the defendant's case the problem is complicated. You see my client's taint is very subtle."

Prosecutor: "How can the defendant's taint be extensive and subtle at the same time?"

Judge Fallon: "Good question."

Randy Smith: "Because in this case your honor, my client's taint is not exposed to the public, but the public knows it's there."

Prosecutor: "Objection...that can be said of everyone, your honor. Other people's taint is not something people like to talk about but we all know it's there."

Everyone quietly shakes their head in unison.

Judge Fallon: "Is there any way to determine the actual extent of the defendant's taint?"

Silence falls on the room as they contemplate the matter....

Randy Smith: " Your honor, I'd like to introduce a new witness to the case...she works at Visions."

Ba-dum-bomp.

Oh wait I just realized, that joke doesn't work....men don't have 'taints do they. Oh well.

UPDATE: One of my female friends just IM'd me and said "What exactly is a 'taint, my definition of it is a little fuzzy." Oh man...I'm really ROFL right now.

And turns out men do have taints according to Urban Dictionary.

Zombie Eats Crow v. (oh crap, I lost count)

WRONG!

I was.

As most of the folks who read this blog know, quite often I get stuff very, very wrong. It appears that is the case when I accused former city CTO, Harrison Boyd, of nepotism in the hiring of technology contractor, TDC.

Come to think of it, let's ask TDC why they weren't capable of performing that task. Maybe we should place a call to TDC Vice-President Roger Richmond....you know Harrison Boyd's wife's sister's son. If we get him or Harrison on the phone, maybe we can also ask them how the IT staffing company, Strategic Staffing, didn't win the IT contract even though they were the lowest bidders.

Not.

My apologies to Mr Boyd and Mrs. Boyd. Shame on me....bad zombie. As punishment I will refrain from eating any brains for one week.

The Best Wedding Photograph in the History of the Planet

Congratulations guys.


(Picture courtesy of Tiffany Coker)

http://www.avantimagesblog.net/

On his death bed...

..Steve Theriot will receive total consciousness.

And then maybe he will realize what an ass he looks like right now.

Steve Theriot says Jefferson Parish lawsuit is to collect information, not intimidate online comments

So let me get the logic right...he's not trying to intimidate all his critics, he just wants to smoke out a few particular people so he can "address the concerns they are raising". By suing them?

Keep talking Steve...just keep talking.

I also got this explanation today:

Anonymous said...

according to Councilman Roberts' assistant this lawsuit is targeting a single parish employee:

Councilman Roberts does not have all the specifics on the suit. Mr. Theriot did make comments at the opening of the council meeting this morning. The suit is specifically targeted at about 12 user names believed to be one person who is a current parish employee under investigation by his administration.

The Council was assured this is not an attempt to silence critics.

Councilman Roberts said he hopes this clarifies the issue for you. He wouldn’t expect the TP to report accurately on this as they don’t want people to fear posting in forums which he understands and so does everyone else that “this is our right”.

I'm actually more disturbed now than I was before.

I think Steve Theriot has become Carl Spackler. The Royal Court in JP has a vermin at Bushwood.....Theriot's solution is to blow up the entire golf course to try and get to a single, wily gopher. Now he goes to the TP and says "Mr. Gopher...it's your friend, Mr. Rabbit...I don't want to hurt you...I want to help you....I just want to rip your fucking head off."

I was going to suggest Councilman Roberts come to his senses and get the parish council to call this off but shit man, I can already tell this may get funnier than Caddyshack as it goes along.

I hope someone is filing public records requests for the running legal bills.



Yes...kill all the golfers, Carl...kill them all.

No Line on the Horizon

I had the good fortune to fly out over the Macondo site on Sunday. Hope to have some good footage coming up on Humid Beings soon. Until then, here's a still:

What few hairs I had on my head....

...I just pulled out.

BREAKING: Steve Theriot and Jefferson Parish sue bloggers. Subpoenas information on Times Picayune commenters. Slabbed mentioned in suit not subpoeaned.

I have a friend who grew up somewhere in the middle of the gret stet. He once told me a story about an enterprising sheriff from his home parish who decided he was going to convert the local public pool into a catfish farm. He had all the free labor he needed from parish inmates...figured all he had to do was fill that cement pond up with catfish and he'd be pulling in the dough. So he rounded up a bunch of young whiskerlips and dumped 'em in the pool. You know what I'm going to say next don't you? Yeah...he didn't de-chlorinate it so he ended up with a nice stinky mess on his hands.

I used to think that was the dumbest thing a Louisiana public official ever did.

Well, I guess I underestimated Steve Theriot.

Aside from the fact that this is an enormous waste of taxpayer's dollars, his sense of timing is impeccable.

Steve...I want you to get up out of your air conditioned office in the Jenni building and step outside. Oh, and on your way down the elevator, take your head out of your ass. Now, inhale a flared-nostril breath into your lungs....do you smell that? Do you smell that nauseating, burning, diesel aroma? Do you know what that is? No, it's not the sewage plant on Earhardt. That smell, sir, is the largest ecological disaster in the history of this country and it's currently making its way into your parish and up into the waterways of Barataria and Lafitte. That smell is the distinct bouquet of economic expiry for thousands of people in your governmental province.

Seriously.

In case you didn't get the fucking memo....you have a catastrophic situation on your hands. I'm just wondering how you guys currently have the time to draft a lawsuit against bloggers and website commenters. Was that something you knocked off between disaster preparedness and rebidding insurance contracts?

I'm also wondering who the fucking idiots were who thought that was a good idea. Do you even realize what you're attempting to do? Any chance of success you have in this lawsuit would have to be heard by the Supreme Court....and I got news for you, brah...you ain't gonna make it half that far. I suppose you could try and spring Bodenheimer and buy a judgment in your favor, I'm sure J.P. still has some judges on the royal payroll...but whoever the parish attorney was who told you to move forward with this probably should have checked with a real attorney or even a law student before he/she convinced you to try and hold back the sea, King Canute.

You may want to start with NYT v. Sullivan...and work your way forward. You...sire...are a public figure...every member of the Jefferson Parish Royal Court is a public figure. The moment you "thrust yourself into the vortex of public opinion" you sacrificed a level of privacy retained by private individuals.

On top of that....you're suing....everybody? Everybody who comments on internet forums and blogs? The "John Doe" of the internet? At least the folks I pissed off were smart enough to threaten a lawsuit against me...an individual. You're suing the internet body whole? To accomplish what? To get the name of every blogger and commenter on Nola.com that you don't like? And what are you going to do if you get those names? Start a blog and write nasty comments about them?

Let me help you with this....you are going to have to subpoena IP addresses from thousands of people through hundreds of companies....I'm sure the fine folks of Jefferson Parish are ecstatic knowing that their tax dollars are being funneled down an endless well in a futile attempt to stifle the 1st amendment and assuage citizen's attempts to provide transparency in their parish government. You know...those same folks whose livelihoods are currently being wiped out because of a foreign corporate entity which was allowed to run unchecked for decades by government officials...people like you, Mr. former state auditor.

I think it's time for you and the Royal Court to execute an ego audit.

Why don't you take a break...go down to Ruth's....gnaw on a big fat porterhouse...drink a martini...and think about how fucking stupid this is. If that doesn't work, I will come pick you up at 8 am tomorrow to go talk to the shrimpers, oyster farmers, and commerical fisherman in Barataria and ask them what they would like you to focus your attention and parish resources on at the moment.

Or....Canute...you can play the fool.

UPDATE: Cenlamar corrects me on the catfish story

cenlamar.com said... "I have a friend who grew up somewhere in the middle of the gret stet. He once told me a story about an enterprising sheriff from his home parish who decided he was going to convert the local public pool into a catfish farm. He had all the free labor he needed from parish inmates...figured all he had to do was fill that cement pond up with catfish and he'd be pulling in the dough. So he rounded up a bunch of young whiskerlips and dumped 'em in the pool. You know what I'm going to say next don't you? Yeah...he didn't de-chlorinate it so he ended up with a nice stinky mess on his hands."

Actually, Dambala, the story is about the former Mayor of Alexandria, John K. "Tillie" Snyder. The story is briefly mentioned in his Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_K._Snyder

I can't help that much...

But those of you with full heads of hair...summer is upon us and what better time to bald?

Matter of Trust is actively soliciting the very hairs on your head to help clean up the oil spill.





And you can drop your hair off at The Ritz.

Unfortunately, my attempts at hair farming have been an enormous failure:

I have a pregnant idea...

Newsweek is up for sale...let's find a non-profit law firm to start a national fund which we all donate to and buy the fucking magazine. Let's crowd source Newsweek.

Slick Operator

How British oil giant BP used all the political muscle money can buy to fend off regulators and influence investigations into corporate neglect.

Something tells me they would become the most profitable magazine in U.S. history in the first month and every respectable journalist in the nation, from Taibbi to Zurik would be clamoring to work for them. A true representation of the fourth estate. Tell me why that can't happen?

The Ocean That Care Forgot

Guys hang tight...I'm getting information that the TOP KILL plan is already in play. Apparently the rubber trash has ready been shipped to the site. This may get really nasty.

Very bad news

The containment device did not work.

Fox 8 Updating:

BP Confirms Problems with Containment Box Efforts

Now I'm getting really fucking worried...and here's why (per Krewe of Truth)

Noted environmental attorney Stuart H. Smith of Smith Stag Law Firm, New Orleans, Louisiana has been concerned since the beginning of the DEEPHORIZON well leak about a catastrophic failure in the well control system. He released the following statement:

“We have been advised through a confidential reliable source, as yet unconfirmed by BP or a second source, that the cofferdam operation, which British Petroleum hoped to seal the DEEPHORIZON well, has failed. Presumably, BP and government officials will address this at the 2 p.m. CST press conference called to discuss status of Cofferdam operations.

“It is our understanding BP may proceed with a “TOP-KILL” to the well, as its next attempt, from the Gulf surface. This involves pumping rubber trash down the pipe and then cementing to try to get a new well plug. This is a very dangerous operation because if it fails, there will be nothing to impede flow of oil from the well, which BP has admitted could reach 60,000 barrels a day.

“Many experts believe, and we concur, that we are one tiny step away from true catastrophe. A catastrophic failure means an even worse rate of leakage than now reported or admitted by British Petroleum. We may see the equivalent of a Valdez-type leak every five to six days now in the Gulf.

“At that rate of release, there could easily be a significant threat not only to the environment but to public health for those downwind of the oil slick. Air discharges of components of oil, such as benzene a known human carcinogen, and other volatile organic compounds could be significant.

“It is imperative that BP and the federal government immediately release to the public all information that they have as a result of modeling a worst case scenario. No one seems to be talking about the possibility of such a catastrophic failure and the effect on human health and the environment."

I think at some point the federal government needs to take over the entire fucking operation and put it in the hands of the military, or at least take control of the decision making process. I'm worried BP is more concerned about not damaging the well permanently than they are shutting it off. Maybe I'm wrong but shoving tires down the pipe doesn't seem like a very good idea to me.

Ok, so let's do some math

One astute commenter pointed out that Frank Fradella's lawyer in the interview with Lee Zurik was none other than Greg Meffert's laywer, Randy Smith. I immediately noticed it, but why is that? So far the only criminal charges Frank Fradella has faced in regards to HSOA were filed in the state of Texas by the SEC. Why would he retain a New Orleans' attorney the likes of Mr. Smith?

Well....let's take a look at some things which are rapidly evolving today...here's the first:

Nagin charged by state ethics board

The Netmethods story is nothing new, but this is the first time the Stone Age issue with Home Depot has been brought up by a regulatory body. I have also speculated numerous times that there was a connection between Nagin's Stone Age marble and granite countertop company and the interesting fact one of HSOA's subsidiary companies was Cornerstone Marble and Granite from Texas.

Now hang with me....and note this:

Letten files superseding indictment against Greg and Linda Meffert

What's important about this is the timing. Monday, Nagin left office. By Friday of the same week, these two stories have surfaced...and we now know Fradella has enlisted Randy Smith's aid.

Here's what I think is happening....Nagin is going down. I think Fradella may have information on Nagin and he's spewing like the Macondo to save his own ass.

Meffert may be cooperating as well, but the fact that he's getting his house seized may indicate he's ready to throw the anchor chain around Linda's neck and let it all go to hell.

Regardless....within one week of Nagin's departure, we're seeing a lot of action. I think the writing is on the wall.

Beware Glitter Rock

Watch Fox 8 Tonight; AZ hits milestone

Lee Zurik is back and true to form. I watched his report last night on Judge Spears....now we know where he's been for the past 6 months....chasing her ass around Boston.

Tonight he's taking on an old AZ nemesis, HSOA (and hopefully Benetech). It appears their RSD contracts are suspect as school board member, Lourdes Moran, touted in the teaser.

I have to turn the channel when Bob Brecht comes on, he freaks my wife and my dog out too much. I like watching him for the sheer morbid fascination...he seems to have technical difficulties on a regular basis and you can see the anger build up in his eyes while he castigates his crew on the air.

Oh hey, speaking of morbid fascination, this is the 1000th post at American Zombie! 1000 posts, my bruthaz from other mothaz and my sistaz from other mistaz!

If you feel the excitement as much as me, you can donate 1000 bucks on the PayPal button on the right! Ok, ok ...you can drop a zero....or two....or hell drop all the zeros, but don't drop the 1.

Yemoja bleeds

Oh Dambala, come Dambala

Think of the wings of a three-toed frog
Eat weeds from the deepest part of the sea
Bring the trumpet from heaven, and the fire from hell, then nobody can break the spell

Oh Dambala, come Dambala

On the seventh day God will appear
On the seventh night Satan will be there
On the seventh day God will appear
On the seventh night Satan will be there

Oh Dambala, come Dambala

You slavers will know
What it's like to be a slave
A slave to your heart
A slave to your heads
A slave to your souls
A slave to your graves
You won't go to heaven
You won't go to hell
You'll remain in your graves, with the stench and the smell

Oh Dambala come Dambala

I'll melt down your walls
I'll melt your steel guns
I'll make you dumb
I'll make you blind
Dambala sends demons
Dambala sends angels
Dambala sends fire
Dambala sends water

Oh Dambala come Dambala

The Flower of Death Gets Bitchslapped

I spent Saturday interviewing (video) some folks in Barataria whose livelihood is about to be wiped out. One of the shrimpers I spoke with told me what happened at the BP Meeting last Friday when BP tried to push this asinine contract on our fisherman.

Aside from the damages cap ($5000), BP was trying to require all boat captains to carry their own worker's comp and insure their own deckhands. They were trying to offer each boat, $1500/day, for the entire crew on the boat...a meager sum when the pie is divided.

On top of that, they expected the boat captains to front the expense of their own fuel costs...oh, the irony...a fuel company who can't supply fuel. When one of the captains asked what the pay cycle would be: 30, 60, 90 days, BP refused to answer. You have to understand that some of these boats can consume 20k in fuel in a month, that's a hell of lot of cash to subsidize BP's cost in cleaning up this fucking mess.

They also slipped in a non-disclosure clause in the contract to try and ensure the fisherman wouldn't speak about anything they saw. It appears BP has a lot to hide.

Overall, BP was trying to get any boat captains who take employment with them in the cleanup efforts to relinquish their basic legal rights.

Krewe of Truth reports that New Orleans attorney Stuart Smith and the Oil Disaster Recovery Group legal team called an emergency hearing in federal court and forced BP to nullify any signed contracts they received on Friday.

The shrimper I spoke with said many of the fisherman signed the 15 page document without even reading it as they assumed it was a standard work contract which oil companies regularly dispense. He said many of the fisherman were clamoring over each other to try and get their contract in the BP reps' hands first, thinking that would give them a better chance of getting hired. He said one of the BP reps then stated, "there's no guarantee we will hire any of you." At that point about half of the room got up and walked out.

I will be posting the video I shot on Humid Beings as soon as we can get it together, hopefully Wednesday.

A little thunk I had this morning

Please spread freely.

I love John Besh

Black Death: Will Fisheries Survive the Oil Spill?